We’ve all seen the contrast. Two people face the exact same challenge—a career pivot, a health goal, or a habit they want to break. One person seems to glide through the transition, while the other spends years “working on themselves” with very little to show for it.
Is it just luck? Is it better “genes”? Usually, it’s neither.
The difference between rapid transformation and chronic “stuckness” often comes down to one thing: the level at which the change is attempted.
Surface Change vs. Structural Change
Most people try to change at the level of Content. They focus on what they are doing.
- “I need to stop eating sugar.”
- “I need to wake up at 5:00 AM.”
- “I need to be more confident.”
The problem is that these behaviors are just the “leaves” on a tree. If you don’t like the fruit the tree is producing, picking the fruit off the branches won’t help—the tree will just grow more of the same.
People who change quickly focus on the Structure. They look at the “roots” of how they perceive reality. (This is a core concept we explored in [Article 1: Why Trying Harder Doesn’t Create Real Change]).
The Three Pillars of Rapid Change
- Fluidity of Identity People who stay stuck often have a very “rigid” sense of who they are. They say things like, “I’m just not a morning person” or “I’ve always been an anxious person.” People who change quickly view their “self” as a process, not a fixed object. When you change the “process” of how you relate to yourself, the behavior follows.
- Secondary Gain (The “Hidden” Benefit) Often, we stay stuck because the “problem” is actually solving a different problem for us. For example, procrastination might be “protecting” you from the vulnerability of being judged on your best work. Until you address the need for protection, the procrastination will remain.
- Physiological Readiness You cannot install a “high-performance” software update on a “glitched-out” hardware system. If your nervous system is stuck in a survival loop, it will reject change because change feels like a risk. (See [Article 2: The Hidden Role Your Nervous System Plays in Decision Making] for more on this).
The “Stuck” Trap: Analysis Paralysis
Ironically, some of the most “self-aware” people are the ones who stay stuck the longest. They have plenty of Insight, but they lack Integration. They spend so much time analyzing why they are the way they are that they never actually experience being any other way.
How to Start Moving
If you feel stuck, stop analyzing the “Why” and start looking at the “How.”
- How are you holding your body when you feel stuck?
- How are you talking to yourself?
- What tools are you using to support your focus?
When you shift the structure, the content takes care of itself.